What does it mean to surrender?  Does it mean to wave a white flag and retreat with our tails between our legs or does it mean to just let go and work into the process?   A lot of life is out of our control today.   My own life is a freight train just rolling down a track with the destination unknown along with a lot of other things.  I started this journey as a simple hand embroidery artist who wrote a blog and I’ve ended up either a clearly crazy person or someone so in touch with her soul that she has convinced herself that she is intimately involved in the universe and connected by strings(hence the hand embroidery) to a world she neither understands or comprehends.

 

I really don’t have much of a choice but to surrender to the latter and hopefully enjoy the ride.  Hopefully enjoying the ride isn’t much fun when you put a theory out into the universe as you are bombarded all day by synchronicities and lessons which allow you to learn the theory intimately.  A theme of trust is met by an entire day of overcoming the lack of trust.  At the end of the day you have to trust that you have learned the right lesson and you will be ok.  You have to trust both the process and the people along the way who have been your examples of trust.  You have to surrender.

 

In surrender you have to admit that you don’t have all of the answers and you might only have a few of them or perhaps none at all.  You have to let go and let either God or the universe do all the heavy lifting and hope that the plan they have in mind for you is the one you would have chosen.  I think I have finally reached that moment where I assume that their plan for me is better than the limited one my brain can come up with.  The belief that everything happens for a reason and that somehow putting your soul out into the universe is a good and wonderful thing.

 

Every day lately I meet angels who make my day better and demons that will bring up aspects of myself I think I need to work on.  It is a day filled with mirror images of my good qualities and the not so good ones.  It literally feels like I have those cute little people dressed in red and white on my shoulder and it is my job to discern which of them I should listen to.   I’ve decided to surrender to both of them and try in each moment to pick the right option for all of us.

 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that it is time to make peace with the shadow that lives inside of me, the parts of me which I wish didn’t exist but they do.  Make better choices with the moment I’ve given and let the darkness and angst go.  Surrender them to the little people on my shoulder and live from my heart.  I am still trying to decide which path to take for the rest of my life, but surrendering to a higher power that lives in my heart and yours seems like a good place to start.  I also must surrender to the idea that sometimes the answer is the wrong one and you have to forgive yourself and move on.  I guess that’s the best I can do and if I live in the moment and do it consistently I will be given the answers I need.   A bit philosophical today but if I want to be a writer I have to start somewhere in the moment.

 

 

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